"What God wants is
not your ability,
but your availability."

"There used to be a Sister’s Chicken in Maumee, Ohio and as a teenager i used to work there as a cook, until i was fired. Twelve years later, i´m now the Local Director of a Miles Jesu in Phoenix, Arizona. Miles Jesu is an International Catholic Missionary Order. Obviously my life changed quite a bit. This change started thirteen years ago when i got punched in the face in downtown Toledo, Ohio.

"When i was about eight years old i remember saying the rosary with my mom and brothers and sisters. During the rosary a few of us kids used to lay on the ground with our arms outstretched like Jesus on the cross. I would put my face down on the carpet and it would make my face itch but i wouldn't move until the rosary was finished. I didn't know why i did this but felt that a closeness to God urged me to do sacrifices. In some way i wanted to lessen the pain Jesus had to endure on the cross.

"At that age i had in my mind that i wanted to be a priest when i grew up. As the years went by i changed my mind many times from being a firefighter, a policeman, a veterinarian, a doctor, until in high school i made up my mind to be an architect, forgetting all about the desire to be a priest. During these years i would still go to Sunday Mass but just as a routine, not as something i really wanted to do.

"At the troublesome age of 16, i started working and making new friends who influenced me a lot. I worked at Sister’s Chicken Restaurant for about a year. Wow! It was my first real job. I cooked, cleaned and took some orders. After working there for about ten months they changed the assistant manager. The new assistant manager was named Sue, whom i quickly came to dislike. Not hiding my feelings toward Sue, i started doing insulting things to her behind her back and even in front of her until a couple months later i was fired.

"It was at this job where i became a close friend with Chris. Chris was a funny guy and i liked his company. Soon afterwards Chris invited me to downtown Toledo and introduced me to some of his friends. Unfortunately, these other friends of his liked to smoke dope. I became absorbed into the group and it wasn't long before i liked to smoke dope too. I became a regular user of marijuana and this had its effect on my whole outlook on life.

"Getting more and more absorbed into the drug scene, it was around this same time that i told my mom that i didn't want to go to Mass anymore. I complained that the Mass meant nothing to me. She told me that if i was a Catholic i had to go to Mass. So i said, ´Fine then i´m not a Catholic, i am only a Christian and I'm not going to Mass!´ With that i totally abandoned the practice of the Catholic Faith.

"One night, with my new friends, i walked to a place called ´The Wall,´ referring to a song by Pink Floyd. We smoked some dope and feeling out of it started walking back to one guy’s house. On the way, a car with five guys passed by and one screamed out the window. We screamed back not really knowing what we were doing at the time. A couple minutes later the guys from the car showed up and surrounded us. The biggest of them started pushing everyone around. He slapped Chris on the face and then without warning turned to me and punched me in the eye a couple of times. I pushed him away and ran for my life! It's funny how God used a ridiculous thing like this to begin calling me back to Himself.

"That night my life began changing. As i laid on my bed i thought and thought about why this guy punched me and only pushed the others. ´Why did he punch me?´ Then i started thinking that maybe God was telling me something. Perhaps God was saying, ´Stop it stupid! You are going to ruin your life!´ This was enough for me to decide to stop seeing this new group of friends i had made.

"Although this experience got me to start thinking about my life it wasn't enough to completely change me. Old habits don't die so easily! I did stop taking drugs, but at the same time still went to all night parties. And at these parties there was plenty of alcohol. Still feeling heavily the tug of the world, i was still living it up. At the same time, there was a change going on inside of me that i couldn’t put my finger on. Many times in the background of my thoughts there lay a growing interest in God. I thought a lot about what God was trying to tell me that night when i got punched. I knew something was missing in my life. I just didn't know what it was.

"In the end i was lost. My heart was divided. I wanted to be part of the world but also wanted to be attentive to God. I struggled with this secret deep within me and went on for a good while. The family worried about me and prayed for me often. Trying anything to help, my mother encouraged me to read some religious books about the life of Jesus. I even started to do this but quickly abandoned it because i found it repulsive. But my conversion back to God lay just around the corner.

"A couple months later mom again asked me to read the books. And once again i started to read them. But this time something else happened. God touched me with his grace and a whole new world opened up before me. At last i realized i was missing God in my life. I found myself crying a lot as i read those books. I thought they were written only and especially for me. Every line i read was like a little message for me to change my life and come back to Christ.

"When i finally finished the books i made up my mind and told my mom everything i had been going through. I broke down and cried and she embraced me and said that she loved me and supported me. As mom knows best she told me that i needed to go to confession and that i needed to start receiving the sacraments again in the Catholic Church.

"So i made a confession of all the sins of my past life and a special grace was given to me. I came to see everything so clearly. I would now give my life to God and become a priest. I started going to Mass again but not as a routine. This time i really wanted to go to Mass and have a good relationship with God. I kept asking Him, ´What do you want of me?´

"My dad and mom kept encouraging me and asking, ´What are you now going to do?´ ´Are you going to join a Religious Order?´ ´Are you going to study at a seminary?´ I kept putting them off, not really eager to give my entire life to God just yet. To do such a thing was a very big step and i was still afraid of taking that step.

"It was around this time that my grandmother told my Mother about a retreat for young men. It was a retreat for those searching for their vocation. The retreat came just at the right time because i needed to set my life in order. Through the retreat i came to rediscover my Catholic faith and appreciate it deeply. But what really struck my attention the most were the people who gave the retreat. They were members of Miles Jesu. I came home from the retreat feeling great! The joy these men showed in giving the retreat made a deep impression which kept coming back to me. So it wasn't long before i asked to visit the Miles Jesu Community in Chicago.

"After spending a week in the Miles Jesu Chicago house i was sure i had found my vocation. The community life was everything i was looking for. I saw the Miles Jesu way of life as a timely and necessary help to live in the state of grace and save my soul. For these reasons i joined the community and picked up my old, but ever so new ideal in life, to lessen the pain Jesus endured on the cross.

"I have been in Miles Jesu now for 12 years. I first went to Chicago and after only a year became the director of the community. (In Miles Jesu we sometimes challenge individuals by giving them heavy responsibilities. Such appointments are carefully supervised.) This responsibility helped me mature quite a bit. Throughout the years in Chicago i helped conduct many retreats and lead many youth to Christ.

"With this experience on my back, i was next asked to go to Spain. This was in October of 1994. This assignment surprised me at first because i didn't see myself as the best man for the mission. I felt a little uncertain about it all. Nevertheless, i was ready to do the will of God. If i was needed in Spain i would go trusting in God. I believed that God surely knew what He was doing.

"In Spain there was never a moment of rest. I traveled all over the country giving talks, conducting missions in parishes and meeting thousands of youth. It was a continuous adventure for Christ and an extremely challenging one at that! Next, i was appointed the director of the community in Spain. And as if this wasn’t enough already, i was appointed the editor-in-chief of a prestigious international magazine which is regularly read by many bishops in the Vatican. The magazine's purpose is to canonize Queen Isabel of Spain. In my wildest dreams i never imagined that i'd be working for the canonization of a saint!

"From time to time i would visit Rome as part of my work to canonize Queen Isabel. On one such trip, during the Jubilee year, i was asked to stay behind in Rome and not return to Spain. I soon found out why there was a change of plans: Father General had needed a new personal secretary and i had been appointed. I certainly felt unworthy of the appointment but at the same time grateful to God. I took this labor quite seriously, seeing that it was like an opportunity to work alongside a saint! In my mind it was like it would be to live alongside St. Ignatius of Loyola, the founder of the Jesuits, or to share in the personal hardships of St. Francis of Assisi, the founder of the Franciscans.

"After my appointment I was busier than ever, helping in programs for feeding the poor worldwide, health clinics for the needy, boys´ towns and girls´ towns for homeless youth, youth camps, and retreats for teenagers. And of course, i was still working as editor of the magazine for the canonization of Queen Isabel of Spain. Looking back, i would never have imagined that God would choose me to help so many people.

“Then on my 10th anniversary of joining Miles Jesu I was asked to go to Phoenix. The very next day I was on a plane to the Valley of the Sun–Phoenix, Arizona, with the battle cry of every ‘Soldier of Jesus’: ‘Behold the slave of the Lord be it done unto me according to your will’. I have been in Phoenix for 3 yrs. now, the greatest years ever.

“Here in Phoenix, everyday is full of hard but very fulfilling work for me. I enjoy it always with a smile on my face. As to the future, "I don't know what lies ahead, but to me it really doesn't matter. God has called me to the dignity of being His apostle, which is light years away from working at a Sister's Chicken."